1. PASSION

Hello. 

My name is Ben Carroll. Welcome to my blog. 

Our family are planting a church in Auckland, New Zealand.

 
It's called Passion AKL. 

A few people have asked me to record everything that we are doing because:

a. They are interested. 

b. They want to know about all the mistakes we make so they don't make them when they do it later. (insert face melt emoji)

I also wanted a creative outlet for the process so that I could record all of the highs and lows. And I hope that this record can help, encourage and inform people about the things that happen when you are planting a church. 

Even though we have been pastoring for over 20 years and have seen God do amazing things, I've never done this before - (plant my own church or write a blog). So Im just going to give you as much information as I want and can. I can't predict if I will be full of faith one day and in the pits of despair the next but I do know that God is with us and He loves His church. 

I hope it will be real and that it captures my heart and emotions.

Also, I like this quote from Theodore Roosevelt:

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

So we are going to get in the arena and see what God does. 

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Planting a church is easily the biggest step of faith we have taken. It is scary and not without risk. It took a long time to get to a point of clarity that it was the right thing for our family to do. 

But on the other hand it is extremely exciting and pure and exhilarating. And we already knew that it was the right thing to do. 

I think that's the thing with big choices like this, as Bob Goff says: 

"I don't think literally hearing something is what most of us are after. What we actually want is that extra nudge of confidence from God and the opportunity to move forward courageously to do those things we already know how to do. What a shame it would be if we were waiting on God to say something while He's been waiting on us to do something."

Yes, the decision did not come without much prayer, discussion, and wisdom from others. (And also some other factors).

But ultimately, the purpose and meaning that the church can add to people and to the world far outweighs the fears. 

I believe in the church as a place where people can understand who God is, where people can discover who they are and where they can find meaning and purpose in the world they live in. 

I have witnessed and experienced that myself.

I believe the fundamental truth that Jesus is 'the way, the truth and the life' and that the Church is God's method to effectively communicate this way, truth and life. 

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Apart from Passion, I only had one other name for the church we would plant... 

Perfect. 

"I will call it 'Perfect Church'"

Because of all of my church knowledge and brilliance and skills and charisma and social media influence and strategies and cultural relevance and Biblical rhetoric and connections and perfection I figured that it was within my grasp to plant the Perfect Church. 

I can plant and build the Perfect Church. 

That everyone will, like, totally love. 

People will flock to it and it will be a raging success. It will be written about and have millions of followers on Instagram. People will invite me to speak, I will be on podcasts and be important...

Is there any more idealistic person in the world than a church planter?

"Yeah but nobody has done it this way before!"

Because of my propensity to ideals and to ideas and to strategy I am finding the initial planning and dreaming stages extremely exciting and invigorating.

It is getting the best and purest form of me which is great.

But a couple of weeks ago I realised something important. Something very important. 

It was in fact I that was planting a church. As in me, Ben Carroll. Human Ben Carroll. Sometimes slightly irritable human Ben Carroll. Sometimes slightly irritable, insecure human Ben Carroll. Sometimes slightly irritable, insecure, impatient human Ben Carroll. (I would go on with this but it is annoying me and making me feel bad about myself...) 

You get where I am going with this though?

In other words...

"Hi. It's me. I'm the problem. It's me" 

A church plant doesn't even get out of the gate without it being imperfect. Without it having some flaws and wrinkles and cracks. Without it being a little broken. Without it being a little bit human. 

One thing I have quickly learned is that it will be impossible to plant and build a church that everyone will be on board with. As long as there are people, there will be opinion. There will be those who love what the vision is and those who don't think it will work, people who love what we are doing and people who think it is heresy. There will be people that know and like me, know me and hate me, don't know me and like me, don't know me and hate me. And a lot of people that don't care. It's a Russian doll scenario. (Illustration does not apply here tbh)

But I think this is a FUNDAMENTAL and very releasing epiphany - it wont be perfect, it wont please everyone, it wont necessarily even be the picture of what you had in your mind, BUT, and A BIG BUT to remember is

 THE CHURCH DOESN'T WORK BECAUSE OF ME, IT WORKS IN SPITE OF ME. 

God builds His Church. He guides it, protects it, corrects it, aligns it, sustains it. 

This has been the pattern since the formation of the Church in Acts 1 & 2 - that God makes it grow. 

He is perfect and He uses imperfect people. It is wonderfully chaotic. 

So I am not focused on perfection. Or building Perfect Church. I have released myself from that burden. 

Instead I want to focus on passion. The Passion of Jesus. And hence...

Passion. 

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THE WHY

“There are only two ways to influence human behavior: you can manipulate it or you can inspire it.

Very few people can clearly articulate WHY they do WHAT they do. By WHY I mean your purpose, cause or belief - WHY does your company exist? WHY do you get out of bed every morning? And WHY should anyone care?

People don’t buy WHAT you do, they buy WHY you do it." - Simon Sinek

The one thing I have found that is super important and of key relevance in the beginning is WHY. 

Why do this? Why plant a church? 

More generally - why do anything at all in life? 

Well, it all comes from WHY.  

If you can answer why, you are headed in the right direction.

When I look at the world right now and when I step back from my own selfishness just a little.  

Or when I open up the public noticeboard of Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok or Twitter or read the news feed - how would I characterise the world I am living in? 

What word would I use to describe the world? 

 

Broken

Messy

Angry 

Out of order 

De sensitised 

Over stimulated 

Stressed out 

Rushed

Anxious

Nervous

Fearful

Panicked

Heavy

I don't mean to be a deputy downer but it doesn't take long to realise that, although this is not the whole picture, it does capture a large part of the it. 

BUT. AND IT IS A HUGE BUT.... (I did that in case my 9 year old son reads that sentence back later...) 

THE GOSPEL MESSAGE  IS THE ANTIDOTE TO THIS WORLD. 

 

The gospel message is the anti-thesis to our world. 

(As a side note, it is worth noting that if the list above is a word summary of the world we'd better make sure it is not a word summary of the church as well...) 

 

Where the world is out of order - Jesus brings order 

Where the world is over stimulated- Jesus brings peace and stillness. 

Where the world is full of darkness - Jesus brings light and life. 

Where there is anxiety- Jesus brings hope. 

 

This is the message we have. The treasure we have. 

For these reasons alone - the Church is crucial because the Church is called to: 

 

To reflect Jesus to our world. 

When I actually stop to look and listen to the world. 

When I just stop talking for a minute and actually listen. 

When I silence my own selfishness. 

When I calm my own fears. 

THAT'S WHEN IT BECOMES CLEARER:

The world needs light. The world needs hope. The world needs peace. 

The world needs Jesus. 

HE IS WHY. 

 

Ephesians 1:20-23 MSG

 

“At the center of all this, Christ rules the church. The church, you see, is not peripheral to the world; the world is peripheral to the church. The church is Christ’s body, in which he speaks and acts, by which he fills everything with his presence.”

 

THE WHY IS JESUS. 

THE HOW IS HIS PEOPLE. 

THE WHAT IS THE CHURCH. 

The church is the reflection of Gods heart for humanity.

 

The heart of God to the world. 

The church is Gods people united in passion to be more like Jesus and impact the world. 

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But I didn't realise this from reading a leather bound book...

This came to me in an epiphanical moment.

 

In 2018. Before we even knew. 

 

When we visited Paris with our family we visited a landmark called the Sacre Coeur which literally translated means the Sacred Heart. 

 

And what happened for me in that couple of hours really impacted me. 

 

The Sacre Coeur is a basilica which was built in 1914. 

 

It is the second most visited landmark in Paris so it was busy and long queues trying to get in. 

Outside was bustling and loud. All kinds of people hustling and bustling around. 

 

We waited a while to get in and once we did we were met with a sign that you must be silent in the church. There was a space to walk around the outside of the church and in the centre was a space of reflection. 

 

We went and sat together as a family. And then I let Anna know that I was going to go a little further to the front to listen to God. (Im kind of really anointed and spiritual in that way...baaaaaaawwwww!)

 

It was quiet and beautiful actually. 

 

The mosaic is composed of 25,000 enamelled and gilded pieces of ceramic, and covers 475 square meters, making it one of the largest mosaics in the world.

And as I looked up to the ceiling of the basilica I saw the most beautiful tapestry mural of Jesus. 

 

It is beautiful. 

 

And majestic. 

 

The image has been forever etched in to my heart. 

 

It is of Jesus standing arms wide with people kneeling in reverence to our king. 

 

And in the centre of Jesus’ chest is the Saviours burning heart. 

 

It was something about that moment in that church that I understood Gods heart for humanity. 

 

His Passion for us. 

 

Not an ambivalent, passive or conditional love. 

But an intense, passionate and expressive love. 

 

A love that is fierce and unquenchable and alive. 

 

And I think in that moment I understood Gods love for me. And for our world. 

 

The Pure passion of Jesus. 

 

It was crazy. It was beautiful. 

I cried. 

 

And I do believe it has marked me forever. 

 

I wrote down in my journal later… 

 

“The church is about Christs heart for humanity.”

 

It's about His passion for people. 

 

We believe that Gods heart is outworked through His church.

We believe in building a church that will Impact a new generation of people with Gods heart. 

We can build a church which reflects the heart of God and the passion of Jesus. 

 

Our why is the cause of Christ and The heart of God for people, for all humanity. 

 

 Luke 24:30-34 NLT 

 

“As they sat down to eat, he took the bread and blessed it. Then he broke it and gave it to them. Suddenly, their eyes were opened, and they recognized him. And at that moment he disappeared! They said to each other, “Didn’t our hearts burn within us as he talked with us on the road and explained the Scriptures to us?” And within the hour they were on their way back to Jerusalem. There they found the eleven disciples and the others who had gathered with them, who said, “The Lord has really risen! He appeared to Peter.””

 

We’ve called ourselves the burning heart gang and we gave everyone the socks last year with the burning heart – in reference to this scripture – that talks about the disciples hearts coming alive and burning with passion after they encounter Jesus on the road to Emmaus. 

We see that the passion of Christ came alive in their hearts. 

Their hearts burned with a passion for Jesus. 

We want to build a church where people come alive to the power and presence of God.

 

A place where the passion of Jesus - his love for us - is so evident that hearts come alive to faith. 

 

God filled their hearts – their hearts burned with passion for him, they ran back to their homes and told the other disciples, and they were all sent by God into their world with the message of Jesus. 

 

Our Vision is to build a church 

The passion of Jesus would fill our hearts, fill our homes and fill our world. 

So that is our why. 

I can explain a bit more about that later. ("Don't forget to smash the subscribe button!") (Also, I don't have one yet!)

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So unbeknownst to me I began writing in my journal when I came back from our trip to Europe. I was inspired but I didn't know what to do with it. 

I knew God has placed something within me but I didn't know how it would all unfold. I just wrote and wrote and I didn't know what would become of it. 

And then I opened my journal just two months ago to reflect. And as I read the first line of what I had written I realised 

"OK. WOW. SHEEKERS" 

"Did I really write that in October 2018 as I asked God what He had for me?"

As I pondered and prayed on paper the first words that came to me at that time... 

"A question of passion..." 

and later 

"May the love of God become my PASSION. To SEEK IT, TO KNOW IT"

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So here we are. 

Thats a bit of the journey to this point. 

We are going to plant Passion AKL. 

We exist to see the passion of Jesus fill our hearts, fill our homes and fill our world. 

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In my future posts I am going to be letting people know what we are doing and what is important and what we are praying for.  

Here is a short list of things of the top of my head I can write about that we have been doing: 

 

- building a team 

- establishing values and culture

- prayer - both personal and corporate 

- finding a venue

- establishing a church trust

- raising money

- defining what success looks like 

- church planting with kids 

- what songs we are going to play 

- what do we not care about 

- working out what you can do that nobody else can 

Theres a few more. 

We are building the plane on the runway. 

But we are here for it. 

Lets change the world. +PASSION

BC